Dressing for a Different Kind of Success

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For some, the unusual, the different, the androgynous scares them. For me, it is the opposite. It is beautiful. It is inviting. It feels like home.

In the last 10 years, over 50 percent of Gen Z people shopped outside of their gender clothing, according to some fashion experts. Androgynous, gender neutral, and non-binary all refer to clothing and accessories that fall outside of the typical female or male gender norms.

The term unisex applies to clothing that both men and women can wear interchangeably, such as jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers.

Gender-fluid clothing gives individuals the freedom to dress however they want, regardless of their gender. Shoppers who are gender-fluid just want clothing to fit their bodies. They want to express their individuality.

Someone who has a gender-fluid style doesn’t worry about gender stereotypes. This person is comfortable with their look. They want to feel good and be able to express themselves.

Today, gender-fluid dressing is accepted and even celebrated. It has gone from the shadows to the mainstream. That is how it should be — every form of expression is wonderful in its own way.

Still, we have a long way to go. Society is more used to women wearing make-up, skirts or heals, so when men do it people might look at them strangely. This can also be the same for women who wear clothing or accessories that are traditionally associated with men.

Fortunately, there are public figures pushing the boundaries around what is appropriate for men and women to wear and how to express personal style.

For example, Adam Lambert openly wears makeup, eyeshadow, nail polish and even heels at times. It helps people see that this is normal. Even though it may seem strange to some people, seeing well-liked and respected public figures truly be themselves makes it easier to accept this kind of behavior in other people, as well.

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Lambert was a trendsetter in this area. It was new even for people in the music industry.

Today, however, it is common. Younger people especially feel more of a freedom and do not worry as much about being judged thanks to those like Adam Lambert who were brave enough to push the envelope.

Other examples of people who are gender-fluid and dress in an androgenous way are Ru Paul who often dresses in drag; Jeffrey Star, a make-up artist and singer who wears long wigs, and dresses and heels as part of his everyday wardrobe; and Harry Styles, who has appeared on various magazine covers and the red-carpet wearing dresses, women’s sweaters, pearls and other accessories thought to be worn only by women.

Most recently, Billy Porter wore a tuxedo dress to the Academy Awards to explore how we see gender and clothing.

There are also women who wear outfits associated more with men. The late Anne Rice often dressed in a masculine way and stated that she didn’t necessarily feel connected to a specific gender. When she was writing the character of Lestat in Interview with a Vampire, Rice tapped into a masculine part of herself that she wasn’t comfortable showing but could express through her writing.

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Temple Grandin also comes to mind for her masculine style of dress. She wore flannel shirts and men’s pants as part of her everyday wardrobe.

In Native American culture, there have always been those believed to have the spirit of both a male and female. These two-spirited individuals are revered and seen as spiritual leaders who possess special knowledge.

As organized society and religion became more prominent, the lines grew much more defined. If someone dressed in a more androgenous way, it was seen as bad and deviant.

In the autistic spectrum world, we’ve faced prejudice around ablism, which is seeing neurodivergent people as being less than and needing to be fixed. Because of that we understand and feel compassion for others who are different in some way or express themselves in a way that confuses and threatens others.

As I said earlier, I feel at home with things and people that are different and not part of the cultural norm. What is beautiful about these public figures is that they are beginning to make it okay for people not to have to hide who they are. More people can be proud of who they are including their individual style.

How do you hide who you are? What style of clothing best reflects your true identity?